What could possibly go wrong?
In case you missed it, Hunter Biden appeared on Gavin Newsom’s podcast last weekend. This meeting of the minds, two men whose SAT scores combined probably couldn’t crack 1600 (and if then, only just barely), was part of two campaigns.
First, there’s Newsom’s campaign for president. Let’s face facts: Gavin doesn’t do side hustles for fun. This is a guy who’d like nothing more than to be with a glass of wine and on X with caps lock on and the weakly sarcastic takes flowing like his merlot. He wouldn’t be podcasting if he weren’t trying to rebrand himself as mildly accessible before the 2028 primaries start in earnest.
Then, there’s the odd laundering of Hunter Biden through the media spin cycle. After being found guilty of both tax evasion and gun charges and being pardoned by his dad, Hunter initially shirked the limelight in the months following the Bidens’ eviction from the White House.
However, of late, he’s started owning his ex-crackhead personality and comes across as the most sane Biden, somehow. (Keep in mind this is a matter of appearances and comparison; being the most sane Biden is a bit like being the most tolerable “Mighty Ducks” movie.)
Well, it turns out that Newsom has a ready and willing running mate if he wants one: Hunter Biden! Joe’s most disappointing surrogate in the post-debate hand-wringing back in 2024, paired with Joe’s most disappointing son. I can’t think of anything the members of the Democratic Party would find more endearing than a return to the final days of the Biden debacle, except maybe hara-kiri or poison sumac boils over 87 percent of their bodies.
Would Democrats actually consider this?
Yes: 40% (2 Votes)
No: 60% (3 Votes)
At the opening of the podcast, Newsom jokingly said that momentum was building behind “Hunter Biden 2028” thanks to a few viral posts of late.
“C’mon, Hunter!” Newsom said. “You’ve got more buzz out there than — you’ve got the president of the United States, Donald Trump, talking about your candidacy.”
“No, no, no,” Hunter said, saying that this was because “I had to give you [Newsom] a break, for just one day, at least.”
“Here’s the deal,” Biden continued. “I’ll run, but only as your VP, because the truth of the matter is that the vice president’s residence is a lot cooler, and it’s a lot easier job, too.”
Hunter Biden says he’d run in 2028 with Gavin Newsom, but only as VP.
🎥: Governor’s Podcast Team pic.twitter.com/XqAYLFqvhq
— TMZ (@TMZ) June 11, 2026
Beats “painter” or memoirist, I suppose. Also, not as much fraud attached to his name as Tim Walz’s, so there’s that.
As absurd as this sounds — and community notes on X made it sound like this should be treated only as a joke — the two would actually make up a potent ticket if you think about it hard enough, which you shouldn’t, because these two men don’t think hard, either.
JUST IN: Hunter Biden announces he’s officially considering a 2028 campaign, but only as Gavin Newsom’s VP. pic.twitter.com/bVU0eFqD2m
— Polymarket (@Polymarket) June 11, 2026
First, both of these men have had very public personal struggles with addictive substances. The old adage is that you vote for the guy you’d most like to have a beer with. Well, what about the guy you’d be most likely to have 16 with?
Hunter’s problems scarcely need to be explained if you know who the man is. If you don’t, here’s a recent introduction to the whirlwind that is the former first son:
Man if you’re going to be mean and least get it right. I smoked crack. I would never have wasted coke on snorting it.
— Hunter Biden (@HunterBiden) June 3, 2026
Newsom, it’s oft forgotten, blamed an extramarital dalliance with the wife of a top aide and good friend on alcohol, insisted he would give it up and get help, and implied that help would involve rehab. He started drinking again and insisted that he’d never been to rehab, and you all heard him wrong.
Second, they’re only here because their dads had power and/or money. The Bidens aren’t the richest family ever in American politics, but darned if Hunter didn’t turn access into his dad into millions upon millions of dollars. (He’s now penurious because, alas, constant companionship from cocaine and courtesans ain’t cheap.)
Newsom’s dad was less well-known, but still powerful in San Francisco political circles and rich as heck and had connections with the Getty family and former California Gov. Jerry Brown, among others.
Neither man had a stellar career before they landed politically connected jobs, which tells us that Pops had a lot to do with their rise. Neither has distinguished themselves when elevated by nepotism; on the contrary, both men seem like living proofs of the Peter Principle.
And yet, we’re considering one for president in 2028. Why shouldn’t he pick Hunter Biden if he gets the nod? If you’re going to go stupid and insulting, go all the way, Gavin. At least one major American political party would love this. It’s not the Democrats, but why let logic get in the way at this late hour?
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