Nolte: ‘Snow White’ Bombs — Breaks Record for Lowest Live-Action Remake Opening

With its dreadful $43 million opening, Snow White now holds the record for the lowest debut weekend of any of Disney’s live-action remakes.

The previous record-holder was 2019’s Dumbo, which opened to $46 million.

This does not count the 29-year-old live-action remake of 101 Dalmatians, which is not part of this current cycle. Nevertheless, that 1996 movie still opened to $33.5 million. In today’s dollars, that would be $68 million.

Hell, if you account for inflation, Dumbo (2019) opened to $57 million in today’s dollars, which tells you just how poorly Snow Woke has been received.

The news isn’t any better for Snow Woke overseas. Previous projections for this weekend’s global haul hovered around an already pathetic $100 million. By Monday, that number will sit at around $87 million.

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Before promotion, this disaster cost $270 million. At this point, it’s doubtful it will gross $270 million worldwide, and when you remove the 50 percent theater cut, the Disney Grooming Syndicate is looking at a brutal, brutal loss.

Tee hee.

One of the latest excuses for this movie’s failure — because the sycophants in the entertainment media will never have the moral courage to admit star Rachel Zegler’s smug mouth or the movie’s feminist nonsense turned people off — is this anti-science piece of Disney butt-smooching-blather from the Penske Entertainment Media Monopoly Death Star:

[T]here’s another thing when it comes to Snow White, and it has nothing to do with controversy, rather her age, that being in Disney years, 88 years old. How does Little Mermaid … open to $95.5M over 3-days and do a 3x multiple a near $300M domestic? How does Little Mermaid get away with it and Snow White can’t?

As we pointed out with Dumbo, these live-action takes of older, vintage Disney musicals and animated movies –i.e. Maleficent, Cinderella, 101 Dalmatians, they just open lower. They have darker, colder, classical themes, which don’t play to today’s massive female audience.

As you can see, to these people, Bob Iger’s ass tastes like peppermint.

Let me see if got this straight… Snow White was humiliated at the box office this weekend, not because the star is an obnoxious harridan, not because it woke-raped a timeless story with asinine feminism… No, it flopped because … the original is really, really old.

Oh, okay, but then why did the 2015 live-action remake of the 65-year-old Cinderella (1950) open to $68 million domestic and go on to a $542 million global gross? Oh, and by the way, if you figure for inflation, that $68 million in 2015 looks like $92 million today, which is pretty close to what the Little Mermaid did, no?

Hollywood will never repair itself because no one will ever accept the truth about why Snow White bombed, even though everyone knows: 1) Disney and Zegler alienated Normal People, and 2) the movie sucks.

We’ll see how Snow White does next weekend without any competition, but the stink on this smells kind of, well, Marvels-ey.

John Nolte’s first and last novel, Borrowed Time, is winning five-star raves from everyday readers. You can read an excerpt here and an in-depth review here. Also available in hardcover and on Kindle and Audiobook.