Sure, Creepy Uncle Joe™ is a very real problem for the White House — but the odds of him making an appearance on Thursday evening seemed decidedly low.
Just so we’re clear, Creepy Uncle Joe™ is the man who President Joseph Robinette Biden turns into when he’s around young people of the distaff gender. (I think calling them “girls” gets you canceled these days, so that’s how we’ll put it delicately.) He’ll say something that has an icky double entendre nature to it — something that he should know has an icky double entendre nature to it, as well — and it’ll go viral on Twitter. Or maybe he’ll invade their personal space: Speak directly into their face, smell their hair, bring them up on stage without their parents, that sort of thing.
Whatever it is, it’s enough to make you forget, for a day or two, that the most physically unsettling member of the Biden family is Hunter. But surely, Thursday wasn’t likely to be one of those nights. Biden and his wife Jill (sorry — Dr. Jill) were hosting a screening of the directorial debut by prominent Hollywood Democrat and “Desperate Housewives” star Eva Longoria, “Flamin’ Hot.” All obvious jokes aside, Longoria is 48 years old. That’s well over the age where Biden’s behavior toward a woman becomes shudder-inducing.
What could go wrong, at least from a Creepy Uncle Joe™ perspective?
Biden hosts Eva Longoria at the White House for a screening of her new movie: “We’ve known each other for a long time. She was 17, I was 40.” pic.twitter.com/uD4vkAch7Z
— RNC Research (@RNCResearch) June 16, 2023
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Oh, that.
Nor is this being particularly taken out of context. It is what it sounds like: Biden began his remarks by talking about Longoria’s “debut as a director, adding another accomplishment to an already incredible, incredible career.”
“We’ve known each other a long time,” Biden said. “She was 17. I was 40. That’s it.”
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He went on to praise “everyone involved for making [sic] this film. It reminds us of the power — and I mean, sincerely — the power of diversity, hope and opportunity, which is the American story.”
The film, by the way, is a biopic about Richard Montañez, the man who claims to be the inventor of Flamin’ Hot Cheetos. While journalists have cast significant doubt on said claims, as the U.K. Daily Mail notes, “Longoria has ignored those trying to fact-check Montañez’s story.”
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But that wasn’t really what made news out of Thursday’s screening at the White House. Nor, indeed, was it the only creepy moment of the night to make the rounds on social media:
Biden groping actress Eva Longoria today at the White House pic.twitter.com/Eaq3hm1h63
— Vision4theBlind (@Vision4theBlind) June 16, 2023
And it joins a veritable litany of moments like this — ones that didn’t just involve 48-year-olds who were apparently underage when they met Biden but, you know, actual footage involving underage girls that was unsettling.
WARNING: The following posts contain graphic language that some readers will find offensive.
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Creepy Joe Biden in action pic.twitter.com/TGVn11DaLn
— The Post Millennial (@TPostMillennial) February 3, 2023
This is weird as shit, even for Joe Biden…
All of the idiots that ignore and/or downplay these things are enabling this behavior. Parents, for the love of God… please keep your young children away from the Big Guy. pic.twitter.com/h5Z7BKmqvb
— Gain of Fauci (@DschlopesIsBack) May 19, 2023
Biden grabs someone’s hand, rubs her face, and then doesn’t let her go for an entire minute pic.twitter.com/Euv4R6VHSR
— Washington Free Beacon (@FreeBeacon) October 18, 2022
Nor, indeed, is this the only time he’s been caught making materially similar remarks about knowing an older woman at a preternaturally young age and seeming to brag about the length of their acquaintance:
“She was 12 and I was 30.”
– Joe Biden pic.twitter.com/bmit4z9oqa
— Townhall.com (@townhallcom) September 23, 2022
At this point, you would think that there would be someone trailing the president at all times, trying to make sure that stuff like this didn’t happen. Hide the children, hide their parents, hide Eva Longoria if he’s known her long enough. These were prepared remarks, after all — or should have been, at least. This could have been averted.
Instead, Creepy Uncle Joe™ decided yet again to say that he knew Longoria when he was 40 and she was 17. The math works out, by the way. It wasn’t just a joking compliment — although that would be just as skeevy. What kind of man brags about having known a 17-year-old girl he isn’t related to?
The kind of man who wants another four years at the White House so that, should he live that long, he can tell attendees at the Biden Presidential Library ribbon-cutting ceremony, that he met-so-and-so on Inauguration Day 2025, when he was 82 and she was 15. Is this really who you want representing the country in its highest office for any longer than he has to, America?
