Climate-obsessed people with lots of free time have concocted and shared a bizarre — yet somehow plausible — conspiracy theory regarding pop superstar Taylor Swift.
Happily, to understand the theory, we need not enter the addled minds of climate alarmists.
All we need to know, according to the conspiracy theorists, is that Swift apparently has begun dating Kansas City Chiefs star tight end Travis Kelce and that this relationship serves a much broader, stranger and more nefarious purpose in Swift’s life.
First, we should note that this theory has garnered some attention even from establishment media outlets.
USA Today, for instance, explained the theory on Wednesday.
Trending:
Vulture — New York Magazine’s entertainment and culture outlet — also covered it.
To give credit where due, Vulture published its story under a heading that cleverly encapsulated the theory: “Swift Engine Optimization.”
The “Swift” part requires no explanation. “Engine” referred to jet engines. The title represented only a slight modification of the Google-visibility-maximization process called “Search Engine Optimization.”
Now do you see the conspiracy? Too soon?
Do you still watch the NFL?
Yes: 0% (0 Votes)
No: 100% (2 Votes)
OK. Let’s dig a little deeper.
On Sunday evening, Swift attended the game between the Chiefs and the New York Jets in East Rutherford, New Jersey. By all appearances, she made the trip to cheer for Kelce.
Meanwhile, according to USA Today, Swift owns multiple private jets. Thus, she has fun afoul of those aforementioned climate alarmists.
In fact, thanks to her jets, Swift leaves a carbon footprint (gasp!) nearly 1,200 times larger than the average person’s.
To avoid criticism, therefore, the megastar can either change her behavior or change the narrative.
And what better way to change the narrative than to modify internet search results?
One TikTok user explained how Swift’s appearance in New York has done exactly that.
“Now it’s really hard to find ‘Taylor Swift jet fuel,’ [or] ‘eco-terrorist,’” the person noted. “Now you just see Taylor Swift at the Jets game.”
@bryanlicious2 I wonder if this os a pr objective #taylorswift #swiftie #swifttok #taylornation #reaction #the1975 #taylorswiftandmattyhealy #taylorswiftandtraviskelce #taylorswiftprivatejet #reaction #fyp ♬ Mastermind – Taylor Swift
Voila! We have a conspiracy!
Swift, according to climate alarmists, attended the Jets game to alter search results and thus deflect attention from her ongoing destruction of the planet.
Her sinister plan involved complexities.
In short, she needed not only to attend a Jets game but to do it in a headline-grabbing way. A mere appearance probably would not do. But a tabloid-level splash would flood search engines.
That would reduce her burgeoning relationship with Kelce to a mere association of convenience.
For the record, the NFL released its schedule in May. That gave Swift plenty of time to concoct her scheme!
I find this entire line of reasoning oddly persuasive.
Not that it makes sense. Of course it does not. No sensible person would think or behave this way.
And for that reason, it strikes me as plausible. It dovetails perfectly with the climate alarmists’ view of the world.
According to that view, everything has some connection to climate change. Thus, all forms of human behavior become suspect.
Swift, of course, holds the same general view, though — like all woke celebrities — she exempts herself from its consequences.
Of course, she will do nothing to reduce her dreaded carbon footprint, but she can change the story or even bury it altogether.
Do I believe the conspiracy theory? No. And if I did I would never admit to it.
Still, stranger things — many of them — have sprung from the minds of eco-warriors.
