Well, here’s a shocker from the latest episode of “As the Windsors Turn”: Meghan, Duchess of Sussex, is a pain to be around.
Don’t just ask me, though. Ask the Duke of Sussex — or rather, his scheduler.
According to the U.K.’s Daily Mail — which, while the breathlessness of their reporting on England’s hereditary tourist attractions can occasionally grate, tends to get things right more often than not regarding the royals — Prince Harry’s eight-day jaunt without Meghan is yet more proof that he “wants more for himself” away from the California home he and his wife decamped to just a few years ago.
The outlet noted Monday that, over the next week and change, he’ll be in New York and London sans wifely baggage.
In addition, he went to a benefit in California on Saturday held by actor Kevin Costner — without the duchess in tow.
“Last night he attended a dinner organized by the World Health Organization (WHO), greeting Queen Mathilde of Belgium warmly on arrival,” the Mail reported.
“On his trip to New York this week, he will also support pet charities and businesses including African Parks, The HALO Trust, The Diana Award, and Travalyst. And this weekend he will fly to London for his annual visit to support WellChild at their awards ceremony, again without his wife.
“This month he is said to have planned a lads-only weekend away with friends to mark his 40th birthday but was with a smiling Meghan leaving a ‘double birthday’ event, held for their friend Tyler Perry, the night before the Prince’s own big day,” the outlet noted.
While this doesn’t exactly sound like the rancorous end-of-relationship breakdown his mother and father experienced, it is more proof that the world’s most feckless poor little rich boy still hasn’t found a niche for himself after four decades of mostly doing the only job he’s ever been prepared to do: play fifth-string monarch just in case a bunch of Windsors die very unfortunately.
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And yes, he did do some time in the military, and yes, thank you for your service to the allied cause, Prince Harry. That was a while ago, however, and now we’re reduced to hearing quotes like this from Phil Dampier, a biographer who wrote “Royally Suited: Harry and Meghan In Their Own Words”:
“Harry sometimes feels like a spare part, and he often looks unhappy when he’s out with Meghan at events in California. I think he has reached a point where he wants more for himself. He’s turned 40 and must be asking himself what the future holds,” Dampier told the Mail.
“I think he’s desperate to find some new meaning to his life, and that seems to involve branching out on his own more.
“He has this few days in New York, and then he’s heading to London for the WellChild event with which he’s been involved for years,” Dampier continued, adding, “He clearly wants to find some causes he can get involved in and give his life some purpose.”
“Meghan doesn’t want to come back to this country, so he will have to fly solo.”
What — he didn’t find his life’s purpose writing tell-alls and doing Netflix specials? Podcasting didn’t give his life meaning? Venting his spleen at the royals and spilling the beans on his private life, as if we should all feel desperately sorry for him, hasn’t given him a deeper sense of satisfaction? And he’s alone in the spotlight with Meghan Markle, who always seems to be in touch with 300 of her closest and most famous friends?
Again Mr. Dampier: “I’m sure he’s lacking some mates he can go out with for a beer and truly relax. The more he does things on his own and carves out some new projects, the more likely it is he can heal himself and eventually some of the divisions with his family, but it’s going to be a long road.”
Meanwhile, royal expert Tom Bower said that Harry was looking “to assert himself” on his own.
“It’s not just Harry doing repeated solo events, which suggests a shift in his lifestyle and strategy to assert himself — not least in Britain,” Dampier said.
Again, I don’t think that Prince Harry is the brightest human being on the face of planet Earth, but the fact remains he’s brought more star power to the marriage than a woman whose career high — before being to the Windsors what Yoko Ono was to the Beatles, only without the talent — was once the third-billed actor on the USA Network show “Suits.”
How does Prince Harry “assert himself” in a useful manner? Remind himself that he’s Prince Harry and find someone reliable who won’t be browbeaten by his (reportedly, at least) verbally abusive wife to tell him how to make himself useful? Buckingham Palace might not be full of too many people willing to take on this task nowadays, given all that’s gone on, but rest assured that there’s someone, somewhere, who can tell him how to be of service.
You know how to tell if that person is genuine? See if they can go one whole hour of giving advice without using the words “tell-all memoir,” “streaming deal” or “podcast series.” That’s a sign.
I’m usually not one for royal watching, given that our birthright as Americans is an ability to not feel any obligation to care about the goings-on at Buckingham Castle, or what the prince was doing during the fox hunt with the 3rd Baron of Market Snodsbury, or any of that what-have-you. With Harry and Meghan, though, I make an exception, because they’re the most extraordinary examples of the intersection of celebrity entitlement and therapy culture.
These two, given their genuine privilege and constant use of healing psychobabble, should be the world’s two happiest people. And yet, you don’t even need a royal expert to know they look miserable and adrift — although the Daily Mail found two who noted that at least one of these endlessly indulged forty-somethings doesn’t seem to have any purpose in life. One imagines that if they swung a fake scepter in a wide arc through their newsroom, they could have found a few dozen more willing to go on record about how absolutely miserable all this indulgence seems to have made them and how lost the duke and duchess seem in their own marriage.
It’s almost like there’s a lesson somewhere in there. Maybe Harry can start up a podcast series where he tries to track it down. Just don’t hit up Spotify, Mr. Sussex, because I hear they’re not interested in your ramblings anymore.
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