Before the 21st century, I was pretty convinced that the lowest form of human artistic expression were the bongo drums, particularly when played in a drum circle at a Phish concert. It didn’t require any effort — or talent, for that matter. Just some cheap equipment and the ability to haphazardly thwack it in a semi-rhythmic nature.
In our thoroughly digital age, however, I think we’ve switched over to the podcast.
Don’t get me wrong: Just as there are some very good bongo drummers, Phish concert or not, there are excellent podcasters. However, as a form of art, it’s ridiculously simple to do. You sit yourself in front of your computer, which already has a microphone. If you want to get fancy, buy yourself a better microphone.
Then, if you can’t think of anything to say, you find someone else to sit down in front of the computer, perhaps with their own microphone. You talk. It doesn’t even have to be about anything entertaining. I’ve listened to three-hour podcasts that could have been whittled down to a two-minute Axios article.
But even that was reportedly too difficult for Meghan, Duchess of Sussex.
On Thursday, the streaming giant Spotify quietly announced that its deal with Prince Harry and Meghan had come to an end, according to Fox Business News. The couple’s production company, Archewell Audio, had produced one series for the service, hosted by Meghan and titled “Archetypes.”
While the series lasted only 12 episodes, it won a People’s Choice Award for best podcast. I can’t tell you if it deserved it, because I have a limited number of hours upon this Earth allotted to me by my Creator and I literally have anything better to spend it with Markle and an author discussing when it’s OK to use the word “b****” and whether using the word “difficult” to describe a woman is the same as using the B-word. (This, according to the New York Post, is precisely what one episode consisted of.)
However, it’s that episode (among others) that’s drawing attention to the work habits of the former Meghan Markle — because, apparently, she wasn’t even there to ask the questions during these podcast interviews.
According to industry outlet Podnews, multiple sources say “that some interviews on the show were done by other staffers, with her questions edited-in afterwards.”
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The Post noted:
“Speculation that Markle doesn’t directly interview her guests started circulating when writer Allison Yarrow shared on Instagram in August that she was ‘excited to be included in the visionary series.’
“Yet the post showed Yarrow posing in front of a sign for the audio production house Gimlet Media — and included thanks to an ‘Archetypes’ producer for being ‘an excellent interviewer.’
“Yarrow — author of ’90s B****: Media, Culture, and the Failed Promise of Gender Equality’ — appeared on the podcast in an episode titled ‘To “B” or Not To “B,’” in which the royal discussed how calling a woman ‘difficult’ is ‘a code word for the B-word.’”
But the Duchess of Sussex’s remarks were inserted and interwoven between Yarrow’s remarks on the topic, the U.K. Daily Mail reported in November.
“In clips from the show, the journalist’s comments are edited between comments from Meghan herself,” the Daily Mail stated.
And while a Wall Street Journal report Thursday described “Archetypes” as a casualty of Spotify’s “revamped approach to podcasting,” the outlet also noted Markle’s podcast had fallen short of “productivity benchmarks” necessary for Harry and Meghan to claim the full $20 million they were due from the deal.
Not only that, but other Spotify talent — as in, actual podcasters who take the medium seriously — have spoken out about the streaming company’s deal with Harry and Meghan, most notably sports podcaster Bill Simmons.
Simmons — an ESPN alum who’s head of Spotify’s global sports content — laid into the royal couple during a recent episode of “The Bill Simmons Podcast,” briefly describing a Zoom call he had with the prince to discuss possible podcast ideas.
“‘The F***ing Grifters.’ That’s the podcast we should have launched with them,” Simmons said, according to Fox Sports. “I gotta get drunk one night and tell the story of the Zoom I had with Harry to try and help him with a podcast idea. It’s one of my best stories.”
Nor is the animosity recent: Simmons said in January that he was “so embarrassed” to “share Spotify with” Prince Harry.
“Shoot this guy to the sun. I’m so tired of this guy,” Simmons said. “What does he bring to the table? He just whines about s*** and keeps giving interviews. … Who cares about your life? You weren’t even the favorite son. … I can’t stand him.”
Give Harry his due, though: From the sound of things, he might have been doing more at Spotify than his wife was. So untalented and entitled is the Duchess of Sussex she couldn’t even really be bothered to put in the effort to fulfill a $20 million contract to do the 21st century version of playing the bongos.
After all, the laziest way possible to do an interview is have one of your staffers do it for you.
Then again, this is exactly what we’ve come to expect from her. Why even be surprised at this point? The only problem is that Harry and Meghan are running out of streaming giants to grift in Hollywood — and it’s not like Buckingham is having them back anytime soon.
