The Case for Kamala

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Image: Mobilus In Mobili via Wikimedia Commons, CC BY-SA 4.0 (cropped).

Mobilus In Mobili

Come on, Democrats — just nominate her, already.

It’s sad, folks.

No matter how much you may hate Democrats’ endless lies and moral turpitude, and what they’re doing to degrade our formerly great country, it’s sad what they’re doing to Joe Biden.

He’s shot, he’s gone, he’s finis.

Joe belongs in an elder care facility, playing checkers in a wheelchair and ordering soft food from aides who will also gladly change his diaper.  Anyone who’s watched a loved one sunset knows exactly what’s happening to Crusty Joe.

Pushed, no doubt, by Dr. Jill, 81-year-old Joe Biden’s somehow attempting to run for another four years as the leader of the free world — even though, at present, he can barely walk, talk, read, or chew his food (see Dinner, White House Correspondents’).

Based on my own experience with dental patients and loved ones suffering from senile dementia, poor old Joe’s unlikely to even be here in four years.

As I said, it’s sad.

So why don’t the Dems just put old Crusty Joe out to pasture and replace him with V.P. Kamala Harris?

I think they should.  Here are ten reasons why.

#1. Kamala has dark skin, whereas Slow Joe’s as pale as a polar bear in a snowstorm.  For none too bright Democrat voters, dark epidermis is good, and pale skin is bad, inherently racist, probably colonialist, and to be avoided at all costs.  Even though Kammy’s pigmentation is due to her Indian heritage, that should be sufficient to entice African-American voters who embarrass themselves annually by overwhelmingly voting Democrat, no matter the moron running for office (see Lee, Sheila Jackson).

#2. Kamala has ovaries.  Sex organs, whether real or surgical imitations, are critically important to Democrat voters.  Even though they and their beloved DIE Supreme Court justice cannot define what a woman is.

All the easily confused Democrat voters know is that men, unless they pretend to be women (see Thomas, Lia or Levine, Rachael), are bad, sexist, patriarchal, and likely to have penises.

#3. Kammy’s an idiot, but at least she’s not senile.  Joe Biden is an idiot, too, not to mention a grifter, a liar, a serial plagiarizer, and an apparent pedophile according to Hunter Biden’s laptop (see Pete, Pedo).

But, even for guileless Democrat voters, when your current candidate seems to have already started the embalming process, simply being a blathering idiot is not a problem.

#4. V.P. Harris has a history of attraction to older, politically powerful, married men, whereas Scranton Joe likes to sniff women and children of all ages — when he’s not showering inappropriately with his daughter (see, diary, Ashley Biden).  Advantage: Harris.

#5. Kamala Harris fervently promotes the killing of unborn children at every opportunity, up to and including the moment of birth.  Has Cackling Kammy brought any children into this world?  No.

How ’bout Pedo Pete?

Sadly, yes.  Joe Biden’s been busy procreating, making kids, and subsequently multiple grandkids, though some he refuses to acknowledge.  For abortion-loving Democrat voters, that’s a no-no.

#6. Kamala Harris’s cackle could cut glass, a trait that Hillary Clinton shares.  Her intellect is a mile wide and an inch deep, a quality Hillary also possesses in spades.  And they both favor pantsuits — although Hillary appears to have eaten her way out of them and into caftans that could serve as circus tents in a pinch.  And Crooked Hillary was almost elected!

#7. Kamala Harris is only fifty-nine-years old.  (What this author wouldn’t give to be 59 again!)  According to life insurance stats, Kammy’s got approximately twenty-one years left, whereas poor old Joe’s already six years past warranty.  ’Nuff said.

#8. To the best of my knowledge, Kamala Harris has not made millions and millions of dollars from shady connections with Ukraine, Russia, and China.  Nor has she appropriated billions of dollars for Iran (see O., Barry), the leading sponsor of terrorism in the world.  This should place her in good stead with American Jews, who incredibly vote Democrat no matter how much Dem politicians screw Israel over.

#9. Kamala can dance. Based on the pathetic video of Joe Biden freezing up at the made-up holiday Juneteenth festivities, Kammy can really cut a rug.  Poor old Joe can barely walk.

#10. Every major institution in America — the federal government, the media, academia, Big Tech, Hollywood, and the laughably named justice system — wants a Democrat puppet to win in November.  What better puppet than Cackling Kamala?

Personally, I can’t think of one.

So, come on, Democrats, and cast useless Joe Biden aside.  He’s served his purpose.

Let Kammy pretend to reign supreme.  Because now is the time, and the time is now, to make a change.  And, fact is, change is the only constant.  And as Van Halen could tell you, change, nothing stays the same.  No, you hit the ground running.

And the time, time being relative, is now, now being an epistemological abstraction.

Kammy for president!  Can’t you dig it?

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Image: Mobilus In Mobili via Wikimedia Commons, CC BY-SA 4.0 (cropped).