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July 7, 2023
Almost a year ago, I “buried” an adult son freshly graduated from an elite university. He informed us that he was gay, non-binary and wanted us to use they/them pronouns. Knowing who I am and my very clearly expressed beliefs on pronouns and all things non-binary, he knew this would rankle his parents, but we received this news with grace and class. No one was thrown out of the house. Nothing was thrown in anger.
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But this came out of left field. We were in shock and deeply saddened. The boy and young man we raised and knew so well vanished in an instant and was replaced with someone we didn’t know or understand. Somewhere along the way, he fell asleep, and the pod people got to him despite everything we did to protect, forewarn, and even arm him against the tentacles of the LGBTQ+ Cartel.
Years back, when I fought this in California, our school’s headmaster derisively asked if I was afraid my kids would “catch” being gay. My concern, I retorted, was the impact this messaging would have on impressionable kids, all of whom have moments of self-doubt and confusion. Telling them that their feeling of being different and alone could be solved by being gay – which was at the heart of the Diversity movement in the schools—would mislead kids and ruin lives.
Seeing where we are today, I’d say I won that argument.
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It’s never easy to hear the “I’m gay news” unless you’ve always known a child was on a different path in terms of his/her sexual orientation. For many parents, the knee-jerk reaction is to embrace this revelation out of fear of losing the relationship. That is an individual choice. But if your values and the future of this nation are important to you, don’t be afraid to stick to your guns even if those relationships suffer. Don’t capitulate like Ohio Senator Bob Portman did. Once a staunch opponent of same-sex marriage, he became one of its loudest advocates after his son came out. You can love your gay child and maintain a relationship with him but still hold fast to your beliefs, morality, and traditions.
Image made using photo from our-team.
That said, with Woke-Cancel culture and the intrusion of all things LGBTQ+ into all aspects of our lives, and demands for acceptance versus tolerance (more on that later), it has admittedly become challenging to accept a child’s choice while maintaining your values.
During the “coming out” conversation, we realized that, with the help of ignorant and not very worldly therapists who didn’t care to meet with the family, our son had rewritten the entirety of his childhood in the most simple and yet profound way: Although the baby of the family in a vibrant, supportive, and loving home with other siblings, he informed us he never felt loved. That belies hundreds of hours of videos, thousands of pictures, and a lifetime of shared memories.
To say we were shocked is an understatement. Ironically, my husband and I walked away with the same impression—he’s so not gay! Even my adult children agreed, and they are very accepting of the LGBTQ+ community. But this is now his reality. So, what is going on?
This seemed more about a political statement; a way to “give it” to your parents; a way to be noticed and special; and a way, at least temporarily, to figure out who you are.
Young adults have always gone on journeys for self-exploration, looking for meaning and trying to find themselves. In the 60s, they dropped acid and lived in ashrams or communes. In the 70s and 80s, they trekked through Europe on a dollar a day. Today, they go on gender journeys.
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There is always a way back from an ashram or trip abroad; I’m not sure that is so easy when sex and lifestyle are involved. But, if gender truly is fluid (gag), then there is some hope that lost souls who experiment sexually will find their way back to the heteronormative universe.
Why are so many young men being sucked into the LGBTQ+ vortex? Relentless messaging about toxic masculinity has played a seismic role, where straight white males are the worst people on this planet and responsible for all the world’s ills. Their evil is intrinsic and cannot be erased, improved upon, or eradicated. There can be no good on Earth until they are purged.
Strong boys and aware parents can try to combat this. But when it is David against the Goliath of the entire educational system, all political, cultural and social media messaging, half of our politics, our houses of worship, and every date, the odds are against us.
Barraged by this rejection and bigotry almost their entire lives, young men now hate their bodies, so we’ve seen a rise in eating disorders traditionally affecting females. With such intense pressure not to be a toxic male, the only way for self-loathing white males to be accepted in the new world order dictated by the LGBTQ+ Cartel and the Trans-Industrial Complex is to be LGBTQ+ and give up being straight.
I am not alone. Thousands of conservative parents reading, watching, and listening to conservative news are going through this. But it adds insult to injury when radio talk shows or Fox News hosts talk about instilling proper values in children, being involved in their lives, and homeschooling as solutions—as if millions of parents haven’t already done this to battle the LGBTQ+ Juggernaut! This toxic ideology has gnarled its way into every nook and cranny of society like a brain tumor, and the solutions aren’t as simple as finger-pointing at parents who’ve already been through the mill.
When tolerance was the goal, parents could tolerate a child’s gay lifestyle and still maintain a relationship. But today, full-blown acceptance and compliance are demanded. Parents must embrace gender choices, the sex they have and their partners, even AIDS, their dress and affect and, most importantly, their pronouns.
Parents can love but not like their children. For children, though, liking a parent (his politics, morality, choices) is inextricably tied to loving a parent. Children can always replace parents with others, but a parent can never replace a child.
Thus, with promises of rainbows and unicorns, boas and songs, our LGBTQ+ children can replace the parents they don’t like with the supposedly warm embrace of the LGBTQ+ community. Marx’s call to abolish the family a fait accompli.
This is literally an epic battle for humanity. Nor do I think we can put this genie back in the bottle or see a viable compromise.
While raising awareness is critical, and parents can do some things to protect their kids, it’s not ironclad, and that likely scares conservative parents. But it’s naïve to think the solution is as simple as values-based parenting.
The good news is that cultural pendulums swing back and forth between the ordered and the traditional, governed by religious morality and the rule of law; and, the bohemian and libertine, where mores and laws are flaunted. Renaissance, Enlightenment, Classicism, and Romanticism come and go. Victorian ebbed and Edwardian flowed. Depression and war sobered us up from the Roaring 20s. The 60s was a reaction to post-war peace, the man in the grey flannel suit, large families, suburbs, and corporate jobs.
Changing mores aren’t permission to wait for the pendulum to magically sweep the madness away. We still must seize the moment to our advantage when the pendulum heads our way.
Like many of you, I’m trying to cope, and hope conservative bloggers and journalists write with a little more awareness that thousands of conservative parents and their families have been suffering under the boot of the LGBTQ+ Cartel.
If you’d like to share your story with me, email me at [email protected].
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