Nolte: Exasperated Oprah Interrupts to Answer Border Question for Vapid VP

An exasperated Oprah Winfrey was forced to interrupt Kamala Harris to answer a border question for the vapid VP.

Winfrey held a two-hour Unite for America livestream for Kamala Thursday night, a star-studded event that wasn’t really star-studded. Chris Rock, Ben Stiller, and Jennifer Lopez, and others weren’t actually in the room. They were watching through their computers like everyone else. After 15 minutes they were probably playing solitaire.

Throughout the evening, Vice President Word Salad Annie refused to answer a single question or make news. But things got especially awkward when Oprah hit her limit on Kamala’s nonsense.

A young man asked Kamala a very straightforward question: “What will be your specific steps for strengthening the border?”

That’s it. That’s all the guy asked. That’s not a loaded question. It’s a softball. But here’s what he got and here’s what I think was going through Oprah’s head over the next interminable three minutes (the quotes from Kamala are real)…

KAMALA: So it’s a wonderful and important question. I, you know, my background was as a prosecutor, and I was also the elected Attorney General for two terms of a border state. So this is not a theoretical issue for me. This is something I’ve actually worked on. I have prosecuted transnational criminal organizations for the trafficking of guns, drugs, and human beings. I take very seriously the importance of having a secure border and ensuring the safety of the American people.

OPRAH: Good job, girlfriend. You backfilled your answer with your experience.

KAMALA: Sadly, where we are now can be traced most recently back to the fact that when the United States Congress, members of congress, including the most conservative Republicans, came up with a border security bill—and here’s what that border security bill would’ve done: it would’ve put 1500 more border agents at the border. Let me tell you, those border agents are working around the clock. It would’ve been about giving them some support and relief, which is probably why the border agents actually endorsed the bill. It would have allowed us to stem the flow of fentanyl. And I’m looking at people from all over the country here, so I don’t need to tell the folks who are watching this what fentanyl has done to families, to kids in our country and the need to take seriously stemming the flow coming into our country; and addressing that extraordinary and tragic issue in terms of its effect.

OPRAH: Okay, Kamala… We get it. It’s everyone else’s fault you opened the border wide open to third-world Democrats. And we all thank you for that. But this young man and the country are looking for specifics. We both know you will never secure the border, and we all thank you for that, but let’s tell some specific lies and move on.

KAMALA: The bill would’ve allowed us to have more resources to prosecute transnational criminal organizations. And it would’ve been part of the solution. And Donald Trump called up those folks and said, Don’t put that bill on the floor for a vote.

OPRAH: Blaming Trump is good. I forgot about that. But let’s get to the specifics before the questioner falls asleep on his feet.

KAMALA: He blocked the bill, and you know why? Because he preferred to run on the problem instead of fixing the problem.

OPRAH: Got it! We all got it. I swear, we got it. Now you’re going to answer, right?

KAMALA: And he has put his personal political security before border security.

OPRAH: Chocolate pie. Chocolate pie. Chocolate pie.

KAMALA: Because understand that even in the intervening months what that bill would have done to give support to folks who care about this issue.

OPRAH: Naked Stedman unsnaps my girdle while I watch Real Housewives and McDonald’s wrappers fall around my feet like Autumn leaves.

KAMALA: And this again gets to the point about what does leadership really look like. And, is it about you, or is it about the people? Is it about running on problems or fixing problems?

OPRAH: Salad… Salad… Sal—Wait, why am I thinking about salad? And then the girdle flies open and my girth is unleashed, and—Salad. Salad. No! No!… Why—Where am–

KAMALA: My work and my career have always been about saying let’s fix problems.

OPRAH: Word salad. World salad! Oh, no… Girlfriend’s still talking and saying nothing and doing that weird shit with her hands. Barry warned me about this!

KAMALA: Let’s address the needs because we know it’s in our capacity to do that.

OPRAH: Watch me save her ass with one sentence. This is why I am the queen, bitchezz… “So to answer Justin’s question, now that that bill is gone and hasn’t passed, will you introduce that?”

 KAMALA: Absolutely.

OPRAH: And that’s why I’m Oprah and she’s Willie Brown’s aging sidepiece.

Watch for yourself. Tell me I’m wrong:

John Nolte’s first and last novel, Borrowed Time, is winning five-star raves from everyday readers. You can read an excerpt here and an in-depth review here. Also available in hardcover and on Kindle and Audiobook.