June 19, 2022

The words here are dedicated to all the current and future fathers out there, especially to my three sons, Caleb, Jesse, and Noah, and to my future son-in law.  I’m 52 (soon to be 53) years old.  I’ve been married to my wife Michelle for nearly 25 years now.  One of the greatest joys of my life is being the father to Caleb (20), Jesse (18), Caroline (16), and Noah (13).

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I’ve by no means been the perfect father.  I’ve made countless mistakes and almost certainly have other mistakes — though I hope far fewer — awaiting me.  Through my personal experiences, through the numerous wise men and women with whom God has graced my life — especially my parents and my wife’s parents — and above all, through the wisdom of God, I’ve learned some things when it comes to fatherhood that I would like to pass on.

Stay Sexually Pure

There’s probably no quicker way to destroy a marriage these days than through sexual immorality.  C.S. Lewis was right when he wrote, “There is no getting away from it: the old Christian rule is, ‘Either marriage, with complete faithfulness to your partner, or else total abstinence.'”  Lewis was also correct when he noted that this is the most unpopular of all the Christian virtues.

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Lewis wrote those words in the middle of the 20th century, many years prior to the rampant spread of pornography and the evil LGBTMYNAMEISLEGION agenda, and decades before the internet.  In other words, as unpopular as chastity was when Lewis was speaking and writing on such matters, given how easy and acceptable it is today to live contrary to God’s teaching on sex and marriage, it is even more unpopular now.  Yet the truth remains.

Be faithful to your wives, men, before and during marriage.  Flee from pornography and the like.  Seek reliable sexual accountability before and during marriage.  Have no secrets in this area from your wife.  Make sure she has complete access to every digital device you own.  If and when you fail — and you almost certainly will have some failures — confess, repent, and seek help if necessary.  Also, model and teach your children the truth in these grave matters.

Spend Time with Your Family

I’ve been blessed with many friends throughout my life.  However, there is no one I would rather spend time with than my wife and kids.  I almost never “hang out” with anyone other than my family.  Not that there’s anything inherently wrong with friends outside of your family, but always make your family the priority.  Do what they enjoy, even if it conflicts with what you would rather do.

Love is far more than what we feel or say.  Let your actions communicate your love for your wife and children.  Time is a precious commodity.  Spend it abundantly on your wife and kids.

Work and Provide!